So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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