I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
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