guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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