hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
