Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
