He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
