the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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