The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
