You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she peed on how many people?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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