the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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