Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
