I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
