The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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