I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i came on her dog
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
