I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
