I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
