Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
