Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
