I'm so fucking centered right now
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
