And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
is that a dick in a sweater?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
