I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
