Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
