I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize