I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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