Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
