i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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