He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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