This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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