you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
