I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize