Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
How external is "for external use only"?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
