Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
