remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
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