I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
