I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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