Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
