Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
