I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize