Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
