We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
