I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
