Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I currently don't understand fingers.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
