Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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