Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
