Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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