didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize