Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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