i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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