No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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