I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize