Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
