I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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