If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
