I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
