It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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