I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
