Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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