Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
