New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
