I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
