I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
