In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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