Slut skills are useful in every country.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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