Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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