please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
