so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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