walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
