i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
