well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Quick, to the slutcave!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
