We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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