No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I know her cup size but not her name....
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize