the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
