Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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