By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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