Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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